Wednesday, June 01, 2005

running on fumes...

today i feel like i am running on fumes. yesterday i was up before dawn with the baby girl who didn't want to go back to sleep. no big deal....just lay her on the floor with some toys and get some laundry folded. ahhhhh...quiet! then, ash woke up. yesterday she about sent me over the edge...literally. she's been very defiant with me lately and i just don't know how to approach her anymore. one minute she is screaming at the top of her lungs throwing a tantrum (which happens more often than not) and the next she is saying "mommy, i love you better and more." she jumps from one task to the next and barely takes time to sit still unless one of her favorite shows are on tv. (i really should have the evaluated) i removed all candy from the house in an effort to encourage healthy eating for her and improve her behavior. we'll see if it works. if yesterday was any indication, it doesn't appear to make a difference. i had her down for a nap at 1 and she didn't fall asleep until 3. then doug had her back in bed at 8:45 for the night and she refused to go to sleep unless i was with her. she's scared to be by herself--lights or no lights. *sigh* i really hope this is just a phase. so finally at 10:15 i gave in and went to bed just so she would go to sleep. arrrrgggg.....
anywho....up again this morning at 5:30 and i feel like i didn't get a wink of sleep. why is that? craziness i tell ya. i'm dreading the day today. doug is driving to canton to get his motorcycle and i just don't have the energy to run ship by myself. daily tasks are becoming so mundane. housework is neverending and really just annoying. i have laundry coming out my ears and i can't seem to get caught up. i feel like i can never take time to myself to design because there is always something around the house to be done. by the time it is under control, i'm too exhausted to even think creatively. *sigh* i can't believe it, but yesterday i actually said it.....i think i am creatively drained. burnt out. tired of scrapbooking. will it ever come back? will there ever be a day that scrapping doesn't seem like a chore? what will i ever do will all this product??? i have deadlines coming out my ears and just added 8 classes to june's schedule and NO energy to even attempt to meet the deadlines. i feel i've lost control. (note to self: this too shall pass.......)

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there- all scrapping divas fall into a lull!


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