Wednesday, August 13, 2008

let's try this again......anniversary: Take 2

He was just a young lad, aged a few months past 21 years. Myself, well, I was only 12 days past 18. Young, yes. Oh yes. But, I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, let the whispering doubts of all those naysayers seep into my heart. For, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt that he was my groom. He had confidence, authority, and a playful and magnetic personality. And he was so very easy on the eyes. He was made of things only dreams are made of. And he was to be mine. All mine.

In the months leading up to this day, we did all we could to understand the depths of the commitment we would soon be pledging to one another. A year-long engagement gave us plenty of time to think, and pray, and learn and grow into one another.

We spent our courtship surrounded by marriages that oozed with love and undying commitment. Those relationships were our textbook. We studied them over and over and over again. Soaking up their examples and drinking in the beauty that emerged from a happy union. My insides swelled with pride knowing that I would soon be one of them. Married. Married to my love.

It was a sweltering hot August evening, the twelfth, our day to become One. The ceremony is still so vivid in my memory, like it just happened days ago. Funny how time has a way of doing that—standing still and rushing by so fast all at the same time. That is exactly what time did that evening. I was in the midst of a time warp, though, only for a moment. It was one of those fleeting moments where you feel your life go on pause and sense that as soon as your life is back in play something incredibly profound is going to happen. A moment where you feel every single detail being burned into your heart and etched into your mind for all of eternity.

Standing outside of the sanctuary, I was locked in arms with dad, waiting my turn to be escorted down to meet my groom. I had butterflies in my stomach something awful. My whole body trembled with excitement (and nerves) over the magnitude of the promises I would pledge in front of my God and the hundred or so people who came to witness our union. A flood of doubt washed over me. What if I did live up to his expectations? What if I couldn’t meet his needs? What if...what if…what if?

As I heard the first note “Here Comes the Bride” of the piano echo through the candlelit sanctuary, suddenly all of the anxiety I was feeling dissipated. The piano has always had a way of doing that to me. An instant cure for all things stressful is a healthy dose of melody floating through the air, soothing my eardrums like salve to a wound. Not to mention, we had a pretty impressive musician tickling the ivory. Mmmmm. As I close my eyes and visualize the day, I can feel the music in my bones. He was good at what he did.

The ceremony went on like most other weddings do. We interjected our personality throughout, making it our own with a delightful mix of traditional and non-traditional components. Going against the grain, but still glorifying to the very God who brought our lives together. We chose to write our own personal promises to one another, leaving behind traditional wedding vows that seemed dull and void of what we wanted to express. He serenaded me with a charming rendition of “If You Could See What I See” by Geoff Moore. And we started our journey as a married couple as the music of Steven Curtis Chapman’s “Great Adventure” echoed loudly throughout the auditorium.

And that is exactly what the last 13 years has been. A tremendous adventure of ups and downs--mountains and valleys—trials and successes. We had NO idea what love really was on that day 13 years ago when we both thought we held enough love for a lifetime in our hearts. No idea at all. Our love has definitely been tried and tested over the years and somehow survived. It has grown deep and wide and has been a beautiful (and sometimes not so beautiful) dance of give and take. One where I must say that he gives, way more than he takes and he can see beauty in me when no one else does. And I am here today to say that I am still so very blessed that he is mine.

1 comment:

  1. This. Made me cry. Wow. Congrats on 13 years!


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