Tuesday, October 02, 2007

unexpected detours. part 3.

remember the love letters to my girls?
continued from part 1 and part 2

learning the hard way.
In high school, I was given a personality assessment test, which was supposed to tell me which field of employment would best suit me. It was supposed to help me decide on a major in college. Regardless of what this test said, I was determined there were certain jobs that I would never consider! Funny thing is, the top of my "no, never in this lifetime list" was the exact job my assessment test said I’d be perfect for.

Secretarial/office administration. (surprising, huh? not really, considering i'm an organizational freak)

EEEEK! At that time in my life, secretarial duties just weren't my cup of tea...definitely not something I’d consider doing the rest of my life. After graduating from high school at age 16 (one year early), I decided to do some paper pushing at a local insurance agency. This job definitely confirmed my feelings about secretarial work! Blech!

I wasn't quite ready to hit the college scene and definitely not ready to face the assessment square in the face and accept the results. I was bound and determined to do what I wanted to do--major in Nursing. I enrolled at Columbus State Community College and was on track to finish all prerequisites for their Nursing program. I was accepted to the program the first time I applied, and after one year of prerequisites, I officially entered the nursing program. By this time, daddy and I were married. Despite the perfect driving arrangements daddy and I had taking our only vehicle to work--which was only a block away from each other in downtown Columbus, on the same 8-5, Mon-Fri shift, I felt the best thing was to accept a position at Grant Medical Center. What better way to comprehend all I'm learning in college than to have hands on experience in the workplace?

My schedule became extremely hectic. Now I was working three 12 hr shifts and taking 18 credit hours in college. Working on the med/surg floor at the hospital was a real eye-opener.

Very exhausting mentally, physically and especially emotionally.

I barely had time to catch my breath between work, school and home-life. It quickly took a toll on my health. In the first 4 months of trying to keep up with this schedule, I lost 30 lbs. Then, all the other problems started. While at work, I would often get weak and shaky. No time to rest or even complain since I was dealing with patients who were in much worse shape than myself. A major reality check to call a code blue, clean deep, deep wounds, work in respiratory care, or even prepare the deceased for processing at the morgue. I truly believe the Lord was giving me subtle hints all along my way trying to let me know this wasn't HIS plan for my life. All the while, I was ignoring all the hints.

In total denial, I would convince myself that nothing was wrong. I was in perfect health right? Doing what I always wanted to do. What is wrong with me?

One day I couldn't ignore the symptoms anymore. At work I finally told someone of my symptoms while in the midst of experiencing them. They sat me down and took my blood pressure--it was 140/112 with a pulse of 124. YIKES! They immediately called a code and had 30 doctors rushing to my attention. I remember asking them to call my husband because I felt like I was going to die. I ended up being ordered to bed rest for the weekend.

No problem. A little rest and I’ll be all better. Hopefully.

I was up to go to work again Monday morning and I had the same experience. I called the squad and went right back to the hospital. All tests were inconclusive. I replayed this situation several times over the next few weeks. Tests here, tests there. Visit to the cardiologist. Heart Monitoring 24-7 for 30 days.

So, after months of unexplained racing heartbeat and wearing a heart monitor they discovered a heart condition. Supraventricular Tachycardia. Requires surgical repair. After agreeing to the EP study and cardiac ablation, I had the procedure done, only to be told they can't ablate (or burn) the extra circuit to correct the problem with a risk of doing permanent damage with an end result of a pacemaker at 20! Treatment plan: medication, a major lifestyle change and a medical leave of absence for 3 months. At the end of that time, my physician still wouldn't release me back to that position. No more Nursing school for me.

Funny thing is, my first job back to the workforce after all this--a secretarial job at an accounting firm...hahhahhaaa...so glad the Lord has a sense of humor. Yet another unexpected detour. One that took me off the original path that God intended for me, but His loving arms brought me back to the road I needed to be on to go in the right direction.

Another lesson learned.

Life Lesson to Learn:
Learn from my mistakes.
Seek God’s face and die to self wants/desires. Daily.

God already knows the course of your life. He has big plans in store for you. Take the time to seek His face and seek His guidance on what you are supposed to do with your life.

(to be continued...)

1 comment:

  1. Tania - I am really enjoying reading these letters. I'm starting to want to do one for my kids! :)

    ReplyDelete

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