i knew it wouldn't last......

the transition of me going back to work part-time and the kids starting at a new daycare went way too smoothly last week. but a little part of me, just knew, that as the reality of it being a daily thing would soon set in things wouldn't be so smooth sailing.

today, my heart was ripped out of my chest as i watched my oldest, once again, fall into the sheer panic that is her sensory disorder. she tries with all her might to be adaptable, and has made enormous leaps this past year with her daily routine and the predictability that was her special needs preschool class.

but this transition to daycare has been anything but predictable. i try my hardest to keep things as predictable or routine as possible, so every day we get there at the same time. because of it being the shift between end of school and summer, the daycare is also going through a shift of teachers/helpers and routine. they switch from a rigid schedule over to more of a playtime/outdoor activity time, weather permitting.

that's the kicker. weather permitting.

so in the past 7 days of them attending, due to the summer shift, ashlyn has had 4 different teachers and they have never been doing the same activity when we get there, even though we are arriving at the same time every day. she's also had 2 room changes, and when we get there, they are never in their room. so there we go traipsing through the school looking for where they are....activity center, outside, bathroom break, etc. it's rather exhausting.

it has her in sensory overload and i feel utterly helpless.

it is the worst feeling in the world to know that your child has a sensory disorder, and you can't just kiss the boo-boo and make it go away. the teachers/workers, no matter how attentive they are when i try to describe the types of things that send her spinning, they just look at me with this deer in the headlights look, like now what. i just know they are looking at me like i am that mom.

i have a few more gray hairs now.
i'm quite sure of it.

how many more days until summer is over?