inhale.

monday night, i was out shopping with Suzi because she didn't want to go alone. we all know by now that i hate to shop, right? but, ya know, i love that girl and i don't want to do a lot of things alone, so she humors me and tags along too. so, it's only fair that i repeat the gesture right?

let me just say....i'm so glad that i force myself to get out and do things that i don't always enjoy doing because, well.........read on.

we hit up barnes and noble for a gift card and teetered about getting a mocha chip frapacinno that tempted our eyes by the marketing banners just inside the doors. we didn't get one. then we went on a (unsuccessful) hunt for a basket for a gift she's putting together. something during that trip made me remember that Bath & Body Works just launched their 75% off sale. so of course a trip over there was in order to see what kind of bargains we were missing out on. i'm not a fan of their lotions---i can't stand a greasy, oily feeling on my hands. but, i've taken quite a liking to their perfumes.

so i looked and looked while she shopped and shopped and it just so happens that as we walked back out into the mall, she said...."come in here, you gotta smell this stuff i bought a friend." so i did and we laughed because i was with her when she bought this stuff. but, new stuff caught her eye and we sprayed tester strip after tester strip, inhaling each one to decide on a favorite.

we were in Victoria's Secret.

after a few minutes of being there testing new scents, she made her way down to the classic scents that they always carry.....strawberries and cream, love spell, vanilla lace, etc. we reminsced about which scents we used to wear in highschool and i couldn't believe that some of them were still available to buy.....i mean, i've been out of highschool for 15 years.

at this point we had been to three other shops----remember, i don't like to shop. i'm clearly missing that gene. we'd been shopping a good 2 hours.

i'm patient though and not obnoxious about it. i'll go along, and usually not buy a thing, but my mind is always in a million different places thinking of all the things i'd could be doing instead of shopping.

as we were looking at all these classic scents the visual triggered a rewind reel in my head. it rewound and stopped at a visual of mom's dresser. it was then, that i remembered that Mom always drenched herself in one of these scents. i remember it being one that i didn't particularly like, for myself, but tonight, i couldn't pick it up fast enough and just close my eyes and inhale.

it was like time stood still and our entire lifetime of memories together played at rapid speed through my head. i had to hold back tears to keep from looking like a silly loon sniffing body spray. bittersweet, but so lovely.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Amber Romance. how i (now) love thee.

it was then that i realized for the past (almost) 2 years, that all i had to do to smell Mom was go to Victoria Secret. it made me angry and elated all at the same time. i think God knew that i wouldn't quite be ready for an experience like that until now. it's amazing the emotion (& heartache) that a single smell can conjure up.

please dear God, don't ever let them discontinue her scent.

clearly, i should have bought a bottle.