Back to School.

so she really started school on August 28, was sick August 29, holiday September 1, back to school September 2, which makes today September 5th. and i finally snapped those milestone first fifth day of school pictures.



i'll tell you, this transition to Kindergarten stuff hasn't been a piece of cake, at all. the earlier mornings are a difficult adjustment for her.....the rest of the morning routine is the same. i've learned that she needs lots of structure, but still some room to make her own decisions----like picking out her own clothes, how she wants her hair fixed. i personally love to see the combinations she comes up with. hey, if it covers her body.....that's good enough for me. i don't really care too much how much something doesn't match.


anywho. as i was saying, it's been a rough transition. the first day she got on the bus with no problem, she was thrilled and excited and when she came home she had a whole mouthful of stuff to say about how cool it is to have recess and sit whereever she wants for lunch. and to have her daycare friends in her kindergarten class. and her absolute favorite is getting to paint every day. after she was home, she told us she only cried a few tears on the bus, but it was okay.



the second day she was sick, the third day....she took the bus again, with a little more aprehension. i talked her into sitting in the front seat so she wouldn't get so overwhelmed with the rowdy kids in the back of the bus. it's a new experience for her to walk to a bus stop and get on a bus full of nearly 75 kids. crowded. loud.overwheming.new.



so, yesterday i took her to school myself on my way to taking emma to daycare. she welcomed the mom taxi. i just pulled in the loop and let her out to walk the path to the door by herself. she was on the verge of crying as she got out and got hugs all the way in to the school from various teachers/staff. but she told me yesterday she knew everything was going to be okay once she got a hug from Mrs. P---her preschool teacher from last year. thankfully her classroom is right next door to her Kindergarten class.

as the days go by, it's harder and harder to get her out of bed in the mornings. but today was a little different. she woke up, no crying, no fits, no meltdowns so i decided today was a good day to try to take pictures. honestly, before today, putting the camera in her face would have sent her into meltdown mode with all the other excess sensory input.

again today i let her have the decision of riding the bus or taking the mom taxi.....she chose the taxi. so she gathered up her baby----which she still goes nowhere without---and we were off. we set out to drop emma off first and then i could actually park and walk her up the path to her classroom. the kids all gather outside and have to wait until a certain time to go in the building. so, there we stood in a crowd full of elementary kids, buses coming and going, lots of chaos and i caught this on film:

and it breaks my heart. it's just a great big scary world for her. and while, yes, i know how to help her avoid overwhelming situations, and how to help her calm down from overwhleming situations that we can't avoid, it still kills me inside that i can't just kiss her "boo-boo" and make it better.

Lord, give me strength.