Friday, January 23, 2009

my house is suffering......

.....and so are my eyeballs. suffering from what i like to refer to as "CHA syndrome". if you know me at all, you know that i'm Type A personality through and through.......overacheiver, perfectionist, neat-freak, don't like to disappoint, and.........well, you get the point. so what i'm about to share with you is HUGE for me people.
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i really, really don't like to read other people's blogs where the author, using carefully chosen words, paints a picture perfect example of what a day in their life is like. makes me gag. that, and makes me want to reach through the computer and smack them across the face and bring them back to reality. you know the ones i'm talking about..........they come across as if they are perfect in everything they do, kids never cry, dinner never burns, laundry's always crisp and clean, socks matched. they aren't fooling anybody. heh.

well, maybe they are. because i always walk away feeling like i'm not doing my job as a mother good enough. i forget for a minute that i'm only getting a teeny, tiny little glimpse of their life. and i forget that they may just be putting on a huge front so that they are perceived as "having it all together."

maybe it's because i'm not a "glass is so full it's spilling over" type of person. i analyze things until the analyzing needs analyzing. hahaha.

i often get comments or emails saying 1 of these 2 things:
1. i want to be you---such a glamourous life you lead. lucky thing getting to work from home scrapbooking all day long.
2. how do you do it all?

so, today, i want to give all the women in my life a gift. the gift being the token of my words and the pictures of my life. today.

BREAKING NEWS: I don't have it all together! Surprise!

i'm going to disolve any myth of glamour you might have about me being supermom and superwife and superscrapper and........well, you get the point. working from home does have some lovely perks---working in my pajamas, taking a break when i want, the girls can work at my side, i can kiss the boo-boos and referee the fights, etc.

but, there's a not so glamourous side too. because it's still work. yes, it's scrapbooking.....but, just like any work from home job, there is a delicate balance between work and home. a balance that i struggle to find every.single.day. and then when it comes tradeshow time that balance is NON-EXSISTENT.

when CHA rolls around (it's the Craft & Hobby Association trade-show revealing all the new product lines for the next few months), there are so many deadlines in such a short period of time and the preparation hits right in the midst of the Christmas/New Year holiday.........and well, it's crunchtime. working from home crunchtime is just like crunchtime working at a job away from home----except more challenging because you never walk way from it. it's always staring you in the face taunting you....." phftttttttttt....nah, nah, nah, nah boo-boo!"

tight deadlines, re-dos, finding enough "perfect" photos to do 30 layouts in a week, overnight shipping, up at 6AM, back in bed at 2AM----every single day for 5 weeks solid.......lots of WORK. oh, and i work a second job too. 5 hours a day.

so it should be no surprise that..........
the entertainment center up there is overflowing with keys and dvds that didn't get put away and loose change and toys and..........

it should be no surprise that......
*gasp* the beds haven't been made a single time in the past 5 weeks.
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it should be no surprise that........
the toys are just thrown in the corner burying the books underneath. and there hasn't been a single bedtime story read to the girls since i can't remember when.
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it should be no surprise that........
i've got piles on the dresser.
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and piles on the table.
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and piles on the countertop.
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and........guess, what. even more piles on the dresser.
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it should be no surprise.........
that i can keep up with the wash, but i can't keep up with the folding, so we're living out of laundry baskets.
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it should be no surprise.......
that i'm back to living off muscle relaxers and painkillers for my bulging discs and sacro-illieac joint arthritis because i don't have balance right now and i'm pushing myself way too hard.
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it should be no surprise.....
that we still haven't followed through with tradition and made our Gingerbread Train.
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it should be no surprise........
that i haven't moved a step forward in the kitchen decorating and hung the cabinet doors or stripped more wallpaper off or even painted the rest of the cabinets.
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so, friends. i'm here to tell you today.........it's OKAY. your life doesn't have to be perfect all the time. my deadlines are done and now i can get all these fires put out and resume life as normal. i survived. and you can too!

please promise me this.......promise me that you'll quit beating yourself up over whatever shortcomings you have as a wife and mother and that you'll just embrace who you are and continue this dance through life with a smile on your face and joy in your heart knowing that you are PERFECT, just.the.way.you.are. promise me that you'll quit trying to be all things to all people and give up that supermom mentality. promise me that you'll always do your best and after that you'll be proud of everything you do from this day forward, even if the end result wasn't "perfect".

promise?

and i'll try my best to be a little more transparent myself. i think this was a good start.
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23 comments:

  1. Thank you for this post, Tania!!!! It's always nice to know I'm not the only non-perfect scrapper out there!!!!!

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  2. I thank you too...but I do want you to know that my glass is always full - or was that my laundry baskets- and maybe it's a wine glass - and did I tell you I found my bra in the dog's bed (which also wasn't made).........you ARE the best for letting it all hang out - LUV it!!

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  3. If type "A" person is as what you describe then I am probably one too. If I see a blanket unfold I have to fold it up. If a cushion is out of place I have to place it right. If I see a stain or a spill I have to clean it up right now.......... And then there are those days as you have in your photos that I have too. Wow! what a relieve! I am not alone. And I promise not to beat myself up for that. Thanks for sharing.

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  4. bonnie....at least it wasn't your underwear in the dog's bed. hahahhaa.

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  5. I KNOW I am no supermom, so I'm totally with you! Thanks for sharing true glimpses of your home - your post reads like a scrapbook page (but we all know you've been doing more than your share of those for CHA lately!). I really appreciate your post about REAL life. :)

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  6. Gee....I don't have crazy deadlines like you and my house can still get that way! LOL!
    Thanks for your honesty!

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  7. ROFLOL!!! Oh Tania! I MUST send you photos of my house on a good day. When it comes to cleaning/organizing I lost my Type A someplace. Your "piles" look like my super clean!!! There are days that I have to make inchies instead of scrap because that is all the space I have!

    You ROCK! I have loved how real you are from day one. It makes it so enjoyable! Hang in there!

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  8. lol, Oh man. I so agree with you. As much as I hate hate hate messy... my house regularly falls into disarray while I juggle life. Which, with just 8 short weeks until a new baby enters our house, seems like EVERY MOMENT right now.

    Thanks for the post, it makes me feel better about sitting at the table, drinking hot cocoa while my floor hasn't been swept in a week.

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  9. I don't know how many times I've been told that I shouldn't worry so much about doing everything well. It's just that this is the most important "job" ever...and you only get one life. I suppose I want to do it all as well as anyone can. Thanks for the reminder to lighten up. I just shared your quote on my blog!

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  10. I thank you for sharing your experiences of behind the scenes of a designer. I can't imagine having the pressure of all of my work having to be publishable, run a home, another job etc. My house is never clean/tidy for more than a few hours at a time with a 2 yr old dog, and two little boys dragging trains and cars everywhere, but ya know what? I would not trade it for anything. Let the beds be unmade, let the doggie prints show on the tile, the washable markers decorate my kitchen, etc. These are the the signs of life and love that drive us crazy and bless us all at the same time.

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  11. When my sons were 16,11,5,and 3 I decided it was time for them to fold their own clothes. I bought 4 laundry baskets so each could have his own-had to make sure no one accidently folded someone else's clothes. Now this is the God honest truth-my 11 year old called child protective services and reported me for child abuse! They of course have to follow up on every call-the social worker lost it when he explained how I was "abusing" him!

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  12. thanks Tania... I really like your blog :-)

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  13. Tania thanks for the encouragement and not just today. I love reading your blog because you always lay it out as it is and I can relate most of the time. So now I won't feel guilty that we just finished our Haunted Halloween gingerbread house that sat in the corner for three and 1/2 months. Hey we did do it eventually, isn't that a half glass full version.

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  14. Keepin' it real for us. Very sweet post. Thank you for the encouragement.

    Dixie (who is now going clean off at least one pile on the coffee table.)

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  15. Thats what I love about your blog- it is so real life and not "made up". The whole soup boiling over, locked out of the house makes me feel like it does happen to other too and it's OK.

    I love seeing your gingerbread train still in the box. My daughter just made hers last week (3 weeks after Christmas).

    Thanks so much for sharing with us.

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  16. The unfinished Gingerbread Train made me laugh. I have an unfinished Gingerbread House in the basement from 3-4 years ago that's still in it's box. I almost threw it out this Christmas (as I bought a new kit and made a house out of the "fresh" kit this year), but couldn't quite bring myself to do it, so I put it back in the basement for next year.

    We ALL have days/weeks/months just like you described, ROFLOL!!!

    As for finding underwear/bras/etc in strange places, my DD (aged 6)has actually worn my socks to school on multiple occasions, and put on my undies once, too, before realizing they weren't hers!

    Glad to hear I'm not the only one living in a "crazy" house!

    Lizzy
    lizzy.simpson@gmail.com

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  17. Are you kidding me? My laundry is ALWAYS caught up and there are NEVER any piles... hahahahahahhahahaha... I couldn't even continue with those lies without laughing... :-D

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  18. I love it! I am a grandma who has been scrapbooking for one year and three months. I couldn't do it before because I was teaching, going to school, raising kids and grandkids, homeschooling etc. etc.

    Last week I pouted, almost cried and told my organized husband that if he didn't help me organize my scrapbooking supplies I was going to have to give up this wonderful hobby that keeps me sane and happy. I was so upset over unorganized supplies everywhere that I was going to chuck it all. Now, after everything is organized and working efficiently I feel very ashamed and foolish, but it happens to us all...and it doesn't seem to have an age limit.

    I think this is all because we are perfectionists, or as FlyLady says, SHE's Sidetracked Home Executives.

    Keep up the good work.

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  19. I used to be more Type A...having slouchy roommates in college prepared me for my life with a husband and son...lol. I am FINALLY learning to let things go (but not to a dangerous level). LOVE you for all that you do and share with us! Best of luck with everything this next week.

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  20. Oh, Tania, this is the PERFECT post! Your house sounds a bit like mine --- laundry piled to mountain heighth, a master bathroom gutted and unfunctional, an old farm house sagging. LOL

    But, life is full.

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  21. Girlfriend, sleep easy, those little piles are nothing compared to my house!!! a friend of mine got me a cute little magnet for my fridge that says "I'm creative, you cant expext me to be neat too"

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  22. I'm so proud of you!!! You're my favorite HUMAN!! Keep it real girl..you'll be just fine!! WOOHOOO!! (Happy Dancin' for ya!)

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  23. beautifully written, I am a retired mom and now a grandmother, and it was refreshing to see a young girl like yourself get this before you were old! God bless you!

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